A quick guide to not sexually harass women

The media today is constantly turning out a crapstorm of men of power, woke men, pseudo feminist men et al at the center of sordid sexual encounters. By that I mean plain old sexual harassment. Earlier I used to read such news with disgust and indignation. Now all I have is frustration and impotent rage.

What particularly gets my goat is the ridiculous explanations, absurd justifications and complex word salads that these perverts spew when caught with their pants down. The whole situation becomes a “learning experience” or “opportunity to introspect and grow”. Twitter now is abuzz with woke bros outraged; resolving to “reexamine their culture”, “learning and being better” or use their “critical faculties instead of their cognitive biases”. To quote Hermione Granger, excuse me, I have to go and vomit.

Since many specimens of the male persuasion seem to find themselves at the bottom of a complex learning curve, let me try and simplify things for you.

Here’s a quick guide to not sexually harass women:

  • Women are just people .. HUUUMAANNN BEINGS (speaking really slowly so you understand this) with different genital organs. We also love affection, happiness, freedom and respect. We are all not primary candidates for mating, some of us just happen to co-exist on the same planet and would very much love to mind our own business.
  • If a girl likes a guy, she will respond positively to said guy’s overtures. And by positive, I mean full consent and encouragement, not lack of protest and kick in your balls. If we try to avoid you, block you or call you out on your behavior, that means NOT INTERESTEDDDD (clearer now?). No, it does not mean try harder. Don’t believe the movies blindly.
  • You know how they say she was asking for it? Unless she was asking for it clearly and verbally (refer above point), she was never asking for it. Please don’t mistake our politeness or friendly nature for an invitation to bed. Also we don’t care if you’re a “nice guy”. Fck off with your entitlement.
  • On that subject, NO WOMAN in history was won over by a strange guy sending dirty pics of himself. I don’t know what you guys are thinking when you send sexts or nudes off to random people; and I don’t want to know. I don’t want to “reverse Google image search”. I want to burn my phone and shower in Dettol. So to be clear, it annoys and disgusts us. Stop.
  • If you know a friend or bro being a creep, stop them. Strongly. Preferably with a nice right hook. If a sexual predator you know is being outed, please don’t close ranks or show solidarity or undermine the issue. If you are ever found guilty of behaving like a lech, JUST UNDERSTAND YOUR FAULT AND APOLOGIZE. Make amends, face consequences, pay penalties. No excuses, no deflecting, gaslighting or victim blaming.

Hopefully this simple list will help you navigate your journey through life safely without molesting anybody.

Look here guys, we just want to be able to work, study, party or travel in peace. Without constantly worrying about, working around or confronting such jerks. Can you please promise us this much?


One thought on “A quick guide to not sexually harass women

  1. Nitish says:

    Well written… The mere fact that men these days seem to need to be taught to not be perverts makes me ashamed to be a part of that side of the ‘gender fence’ 😡

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